Buying a new car differs from any other retail transaction you'll ever make. When you buy a loaf of bread, a pair of shoes, a TV or anything else, the product comes with a credible price tag.

You have no such luxury shopping for a new car. Unless you go to a one-price dealer like Saturn, you know that only a fool pays full sticker price. So you psyche yourself up for some serious haggling. As you walk through the showroom doors, you enter a completely different consumer culture, one in which you get what you want by bargaining, not mere bargain-hunting.

Survey after survey shows that buyers believe that they can get the best price on a new car through negotiation. Yet consumers remain conflicted about the process. Although they believe that they ultimately succeed, the negotiation process makes them uncomfortable. "People consider it a game," says Paul Calisi, president of PNC Service Corp., which operates the Club-endorsed Auto Buying Program. "In the end, they buy a car and get a sense of triumph. They think they went into a dealership and beat a professional negotiator at his own game."

Like any other unfamiliar culture, a new-car dealership requires you to learn a whole new set of customs-and a new language. Here's how to communicate as a stranger in this strange land.

• Understand the dealer's underlying interest. Naturally, the dealer wants to maximize profit. But other long-term interests usually underlie this short-term objective.

"Good dealers work hard to create a relationship with their customers," says Allan Pankopf, chairman of the automotive marketing department at Michigan's Northwood University.

As someone who trains future dealership managers and salespeople in the classroom, Pankopf likens today's new-car salespeople to stockbrokers. Good brokers certainly want to earn a decent margin on every transaction, but they never let the prospect of short-term gain damage their long-term relationship with a client. That desired relationship is practically the only leverage you have in the negotiation.

•Fill your notebook, then empty your heart. Before you set out, surf the Web, consult reference books at the local library or use a pricing service to determine the invoice price of the car and options you want. Calculate a reasonable profit for the dealer from the invoice, and resolve to visit at least three dealers.

The hard facts from your research will help you cultivate the detachment necessary for a successful negotiation. In talking to a salesperson, emotions only get in the way. Anger, competitiveness and pride distract from your true focus: the purchase price. Similarly, falling head over heels in love with one particular car clouds your judgment and makes you vulnerable to manipulative sales tactics.

•Get the salesperson on your side. In their book Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher and William Ury of the Harvard Negotiation Project suggest a simple move that changes the whole tenor of any negotiation from the get-go. When the salesperson starts making notes for the first proposal, pull your chair over to his or her side of the desk.

At a typical dealership, you confront a salesperson on the opposite side of a desk; the very arrangement implies an adversarial relationship. Moving your chair to the same side of the desk creates a new dynamic. As Fisher and Ury note, it keeps you focused on the problem, not the people-as partners, searching side by side for a fair solution.

•Stroke the salesperson, but stand on your principles. Honestly acknowledge the salesperson's effort at every opportunity.You might say, "I really appreciate your staying late to hammer out this deal with me." Sincere compliments on the process help reinforce the cooperative spirit.

On the other hand, express your points of disagreement clearly and politely. "I" statements work best. For instance, the salesperson may shift the focus of the negotiation from the bottom-line price to the monthly payment, saying, "We can make this car more affordable with a different payment schedule." In this case, a confrontational "Don't change the subject!" will get you nowhere. Instead, steer the discussion back to the real issue with non-threatening "I" statements: "I'm feeling a little confused. I would prefer to settle the issue of financing separately. I want to get back to discussing price."

•Answer objections by questioning and summarizing. What if the salesperson raises an objection that stops negotiation dead in its tracks? Maybe he'll tell you flat out that your figures are wrong. Then it's time to ask questions. "Gee, I used what I thought were reliable sources," you might say. "Where exactly do your figures differ?" Don't challenge the salesperson's credibility, but do ask for specifics and identify the precise areas of disagreement.

Or maybe she'll say, "I can't bring this offer to my sales manager. He'll never let the car go at this price." To which you might respond, "Well, so far we've worked out a fair trade-in value for my car. And we've agreed on the base price of the new car. The only sticking point seems to be the options, and we're just $500 apart on this particular package. Surely we can find a creative way to reach a fair price."

Summarizing not only helps you keep your cool, but also gives you time to think through the issue and identify the real problem. It also presents the perfect opportunity to remind the hard bargainer of everyone's long-term interest. You might say, "I'm looking for more than a car. I'm looking for a dealer I can rely on-now and later. And I'd love to do this deal today at a fair price. I'm sure we can make it work with a little effort."

•Always leave yourself an out. What happens if a salesperson simply digs in his or her heels and won't negotiate further? Fisher and Ury emphasize the importance of "the best alternative to a negotiated agreement." You could simply cut bait and take your business to another dealer. Or you could consider alternatives to negotiation- one-price dealerships or the Club-endorsed Auto Buying Program, for example. The AAA program shows members the complete invoice price of the vehicle (options, factory-to-dealer incentives, and national or regional customer rebates included) and allows them to buy at a fixed pre-determined margin over invoice. Consumers who disdain the whole negotiation process like the program because it means no-haggle buying. Dealers like it because it means they widen their market beyond their immediate area.

• Never underestimate the power of a breather. If the salesperson leaves you to cool your heels while he confers with his manager, or if you begin to lose your temper, feel overwhelmed or buckle under pressure, take a break to regain your composure and restore your sense of detachment. Window shop at the stores down the street. Or visit a local coffee shop. And, while you're at it, stick with decaf.